Project Junkyard Greyhound - BMW 3.0 Cs

The second rule of bodyworking is that, as far as tools go, there are no rules. Use whatever gets at the blemish with the right shape to nudge it back into place. I have been known to use a wood-splitting wedge with the edge dulled to get into a tight corner. Be creative. Pieces of wood sanded into the correct shape, tire irons, hammer handles, pry bars, they're all fine implements in the right situation. There are even certain rare instances when a body hammer and dolly can do some good.

I started on the coupe at the front valence. I don't know how the idiots managed those dents, but they're dandies, and a great place to develop my bodywork chops. Why a great place? Because the valence will be hidden behind a spoiler, Einstein. I suppose you'd rather start with that blemish in the center of the hood. You'd best get a little practice first, because this stuff can be tricky. What I've done with the valence is pretty straightforward. First read the reference book on hammer-and-dolly technique. Then start from behind the valence and use a combination of hammer-on and hammer-off technique (I told you, read the book) on as much of the dent as you can reach. This won't touch the really hard-to-reach part in front at the very top. For that, I'm going to do something different.

To get the untouchable dents, I have a couple of methods at my disposal. They both involve the use of a slide hammer, with one being much less intrusive than the other. I'll go over the down-and-dirty method first. Get some sheetmetal screws. Take your Hole Hawg and drill a number of holes a size smaller than your screws along the exact impact area of the dent. It's usually the lowest part. Put one of the screws in the tip of the slide hammer, screw it into the first hole, and knock the sliding weight against the end of the hammer using minimum force. Don't try to take the dent out instantaneously or guess what: stretched sheetmetal. Continue along the line until the dent is nearly level with surrounding surfaces. This method will remove dents but leave you with a long series of very nasty holes. It is, in a few words, an ungraceful solution. I've pictured a slightly better method, even though it involves a bit of welding.

First, I'll construct an M1A1 dent-pulling machine. If it looks a lot like a pair of ratty channel locks with a nut welded onto the screw end, congratulations, Sherlock. That's what it is. In this case, it's a 7/16 x 20 SAE threaded nut, which handily fits the threads on the tip of the slide hammer. In this manner, once I've threaded the nut onto the slide hammer I'll have an implement with a gripping device at the end instead of a sheetmetal screw. In order to get something in place for the locking pliers to grip, I'll weld some 2.0-in. lengths of 1/16-in.-diameter welding wire into place along the dent, just where I would have drilled the holes in my former method. Lock the pliers onto the first piece of rod and gently use the slide hammer. Keep at it and the dent will gradually be pulled out.

Finish by grinding off the short lengths of welding rod and doing any minor hammer-and-dolly work to bring the former dent fully even with the surrounding surface. The disadvantage of this method is the use of heat, which will cause mild steel to rust like crazy, but I'm going to coat the former dent with a rust inhibitor, so I'm covered, literally and figuratively.

I know I'll have to repeat this process until my ears are ringing and my head is spinning, but I'll chill by chanting my mantra: "It's only a race car...it's only a race car...it's only...."

Also, we mustn't forget, in this, the year of the palindrome, that "race car" spelledbackwards is "disaster."