Schnitzer's ever-friendly marketing and P.R. man Oliver Linstedt insists that the speed isn't the most amazing thing. It's the fact that at 180 mph you can drive the car with one hand. So we do, and you can; you don't even really feel the speed.
Suddenly all that mass works for the car, and the left lane on the autobahn is perhaps the only place in the world you could call the X6 M's natural environment, which is unfortunate seeing as most are confined within L.A., Moscow, Dubai, and more recently, China's pot-holed goat tracks.
But here it all makes sense, it all works to perfection, and then we peel off and barrel towards our photo location at semi-breakneck speed. Here's where the original car suffered: Schnitzer's relatively minor chassis additions have worked wonders.
Ditching the BMW runflats, Schnitzer has gone with grippier rubber and dropped the suspension 25mm without losing a single nugget of ride quality. It's a better ride, and I don't know how.
The corners were where the base M blew people away with its incredulous cornering skills and uncanny ability to hide its weight. With the new settings and rubber the Schnitzer hangs on even better, corners even flatter, and just carves through bends when it should be flapping on its roof like an upturned turtle.
Weeks before our test, this car lapped Hockenheim in one minute 15 seconds, a little over five seconds off a tuned Corvette ZR1. "Not bad" doesn't quite cover it.
There's another notional racing touch, too: The suspension is fully adjustable and Schnitzer provides recommended settings for the Nürburgring and other tracks. But you have to take the wheels off to go to work on the camber and rebound, and-let's be honest-nobody will. If you have the money for this car there's already a far more entertaining track toy in the garage. Once again, I suspect this is a bragging rights thing, but the setup Schnitzer provides is more than good enough to leave the road with scars.
It's a brilliant piece of engineering that, with the deft touch of a master tuning house, has just gotten better. Of course the X6, and especially the M variant, was a case of epic bad timing from BMW because the world at large has moved on. Big, thirsty dinosaurs like this simply cannot survive in the long run and the likes of the X6 will turn to hybrids, or simply to dust like the Hummer before it.
But that is then and this is now, and those that can should celebrate such acts of lunacy, rage against the dying of the light, and fly one last rebellious middle finger to the world at large. It is obscene. It is disgusting. And it is everything that's wrong with the world today. But if you had the money, you probably wouldn't care either.
AC Schnitzer X6 M Falcon
Longitudinal front engine, all-wheel drive
4.4-liter V8, dohc, 32-valve, twin-turbocharged. AC Schnitzer 100-cell rear silencer and software
Bilstein adjustable coilovers and antiroll bars
Wheels and Tires
AC Schnitzer Type V, 10x22 (f), 11.5x22 (r)
Michelin Diamar, 295/30
Peak Power: 650 hp @ 6000 rpm
Peak Torque: 604 lb-ft @ 3200 rpm
0-60 mph: 4.4 sec.
Top Speed: 186 mph