And he's ferociously fit. In the build up to Le Mans, his morning jog would stretch for more than 13 miles. I too have been running in preparation for this race but my local park is no more than 3 miles in circumference and I struggle to make it round. While Smith's physique would befit a sculpture park, mine bares the scars of too much curry, as my girlfriend is wont to point out. My arms are already aching from the strain of driving the car.
We awake early next morning to find the circuit is being subjected to a torrent of cloud abuse. It's the sort of rain that permeates everything and the cockpit of our car is leaking like a government department. In qualifying, we send Smith out last in the hope that the circuit will have dried, but this proves to be a mistake. The conditions get significantly worse throughout the session and in the circumstances, we do well to qualify 35th. At least we'll be able to see the startline come race day-those at the back will be literally a mile away.
Race preparation requires a trip to the local grocery store. "Buy lots of fruit and water," says Smith as he pushes the trolley. "Don't bother with Red Bull, it just makes you feel sick. And don't drink Coke(r) after a stint-I tried that once and I felt terrible for hours." I can't help smiling at the image before me. Bentley's favorite son is, on race day, desperately searching for his favorite cupcakes. "I can honestly say I didn't do this at Le Mans," he says with a grin.
During the race, each driver will be required to refuel their own car at one of seven petrol pumps located at the entrance to the pits. A full tank is good for 1 1/2 hours of racing, or more if there's a safety-car period. We divvy up the time and decide to double stint through the night. In theory, this will allow us all to get at least a couple hours of sleep.
Campbell starts the first race and hands over to me after an hour, which is when the trouble starts. I've scarcely left the pits when my race harness snaps open and I'm forced to make an unscheduled stop. Then at the end of the stint, the fuel filler cap sticks-I lose 5 minutes trying to wrench it off and then a further 10 having a new one fitted. An hour later Smith returns to the pits with no fourth gear and we lose an hour having a new 'box fitted.
This turns out to be just the first of three gearbox changes, to which can be added a broken driveshaft, a misfire, a steering-ball-joint problem, three broken front splitters, two accidents (both caused by back markers) and a faulty starter motor. In total we spend 3 hours and 29 minutes stuck in the pits and finish in 86th place, 67 laps behind the leaders.
On the face of it, the last 25 hours have been a bit of a disaster, but it somehow doesn't feel like it. What had begun as a simple motor race had turned into an exciting adventure with a series of seminal moments. I will never forget, for example, leaving the pits at midnight to begin a 3-hour stint. For the first 20 minutes I had been swamped by Belgian and Italian cars as their full-beam headlights singed my eyes. Judging the proximity of each car proved almost impossible and the circuit was just a hazy blur.
Those early laps in the night were a leap of faith, but by the second hour my eyes had adjusted and my times improved to the point where I was matching my daytime pace. Around this time I also remembered Smith's tip. "Just flash your lights at them," he'd said. "It's a trick we learned in the R8. Driver's get intimidated and miss their braking point." It worked a treat and at a little after 3 a.m., as I clambered into my sleeping bag in Smith's motorhome, I felt confident that I'd gone some way towards mastering the art of night racing.
I had woken at 6:30 a.m. to find the mechanics eulogizing over Smith's performance. For the past 3 hours, he'd been lapping faster than anyone else, despite a broken front splitter and the dual handicap of worn front brake pads and old tires. "I kept telling Fergus he'd have to bring him in because he'd have no brakes left," said our overworked mechanic, Roy Downing. "But I guess he just didn't use them. He was like a man on a mission, it was amazing." A few hours later, in the pouring rain, Smith lapped 5-sec.-a-lap faster than the leaders. Fears that the Bentley Boy would find the whole event excruciating dull were thankfully allayed. "The racing was just brilliant," he declared at the end of one stint. "At Le Mans you just blast past people but here, because of the slipstreaming, you can always find somebody to dice with. I've done more racing in the past few hours that I have in the last 4 or 5 years. I went right off the road at Blanchimont but I kept going and still managed to overtake two cars."
As we pack our race suits, the three of us reflect on what might have been. We had the outright pace to run in the top 10, but our determination to have as much fun as possible had undoubtedly cost us. "It probably was a case of too fast, too furious," says a reflective Smith. "We gave it 11/10ths and paid the price."
Maybe he's right, but in the words of the song, "Je ne regrette rien." Campbell and I had been offered a unique opportunity-it had been like turning up for a golf match to find yourself partnering Phil Mickelson. In such a situation, you make the most of it and hang the consequences.
We knew Smith would be quick in the car, but it was his intelligent insights that made the experience so engaging. And his personality made it all the more enjoyable. While other pros would have shied away from such an encounter, he simply got on with it with a perma-smile and without a trace of ego. It wouldn't have been a Fun Cup without him.
Fancy a Go?An American team took part in this year's event, racing alongside the UK entries. Anyone with a racing license can enter the race, and you can hire an arrive-and-drive package for 12,750 ($23,287). This includes fuel and entry fees, but you'll pay extra for accident damage and mechanical breakages-a new gearbox costs 995 ($1,817). Most teams use three to five drivers, but you're allowed up to eight.For more information, visit www.uniroyalteamchallenge.co.uk.